What If Heaven
by Captivated Heart
Summary: Was previously named What If Heaven Waited a While Longer. Written for Ladygris and DaniWilder's What If challenge. First chapter contains a subtle character death for your warning. Set in Last Man. Further chapters' details inside. Set as complete for now.
1. Waited a While Longer?

Disclaimer: SGA is owned by MGM, not me.

Be warned that this is a death fic but not an overly obvious one. Already got yelled at once for no warning so here is your proper warning.

All of these challenges have me intrigued. Thanks for the challenge, DaniWilder and Ladygris. 499 words.

What if Heaven Waited a While Longer?

Her eyes, weak and sunken, held his gaze in sadness. He couldn't stand to see that look. That's why he had to fix this, he just had to.

"You can't change the past." The gaze held strong even if her voice didn't.

"You can. I can – and I'm going to, even if it takes the rest of my life." She needed to believe him, he begged her to see his side. That he couldn't lose her, not yet.

She went on discouraging him from spending the remainder of his life to save hers but he wasn't listening to her words' meaning anymore. His life needed her in it.

Rodney's eyes only saw two things in the next few months. The first was Jennifer as she held on by the barest of threads. The flat white surface covered with quickly hashed-out formulas and equations was the other. Nothing else was allowed a second of his eyes' time anymore. Even Jeannie grew tired of never holding his attention though she was helping him every hour she could afford to leave Madison home with Kaleb. Rodney never spared her a glance as every second seemed to hold the answer to all of his efforts and taking that one second to look at something besides his work would cause him to miss the illusive answer.

Jennifer started getting worse, sleeping more and interacting with him less. He requested one of his old tablets to replace the white boards in his apartment and soon joined her in the SGC Infirmary. Rodney couldn't recall the number of times they had gone against Doctor Lam's wishes and curled up together on the narrow bed just to feel each other's presence all night again. He knew he had to savor those moments. There wouldn't be many of them left according to Doctor Parsons.

One of the nights in the middle of breaking another complication of his 83rd attempted set of equations, Jennifer whispered from where he thought she was sleeping on the bed beside him, "Promise me that you're not gonna waste the rest of your life chasing after something that's already gone, Rodney. Please promise me."

He immediately set the tablet down and took her left hand with his and cradled her cheek as it turned to him with a tear running down the side.

"I promise I won't chase after something that's already gone. You're still here, aren't you?" He sincerely joked so his voice didn't break.

"Rodney." Her gaze returned, softened.

"I can't, Jennifer. You're my life."

She gave no answer to that and let it go.

He couldn't stand that she knew it was coming, but she peacefully left him to his work after that, never passing her heartfelt opinion again. It wasn't until years later when he found the answer that relief finally touched the piece of his heart Jennifer still had a firm hold on. She would be safe in many different universes and that's all that mattered to him anymore.


	2. Could Hear?

Disclaimer: SGA is owned by MGM

I don't like to meddle much in the mistakes of the writers as this challenge encourages us to do so. Instead I do emotional moments, so here's my take on the popular balcony setting so many McKellerites, and other shippers I'm sure, love to write. Only 439 words.

What If Heaven Could Hear?

It was meditative here; peaceful with the cloud-darkened sky acting as eyelashes and the last rays of the sunset letting in the final peek of the world around her.

The wind was unrelenting and had a cold waver. Sure, she had a jacket on, but wrapping it tighter to herself meant shutting out the wind's regretful, warm apology at the end. She would bare it if only for that softly whispered sorry.

Arms wrapped around her and from the feel of the warm breath caressing the side of her neck, she didn't mind the intrusion.

"Come back to bed soon, Jennifer," the breath whispered to her before leaving a light kiss on the joint of her neck and shoulder. His arms reluctantly left her waist and his soft footfalls returning to their bed could be heard if one really listened.

She absolutely loved that he understood. That a moment to herself was all she needed right now. It had been years, nearly twenty, but every year she took a moment to talk to her on this day.

"Mom, I hope you're doing well up there because Dad and I are doing fine here, but I will admit we're both still missing you terribly. Dad never stops talking about you and I don't think his new wife minds. She's really great, Mom, you would love her. Never will she replace you but Dad's happy and that makes me happy." The daughter took a moment to allow a smile to trace her lips.

"And you remember Rodney, don't you? Things have definitely changed in a year. This is the man you always told me I would find and, like you advised, I'll never let him go. Especially since I don't think he'll ever let me go either." Jennifer's voice softened as she ran her fingers across the smooth metal recently placed on her third finger. "Make sure to get a front row seat up there in heaven, okay?"

She took another moment to just appreciate the silence around her, knowing her mother was listening. "I love him the way Daddy loves you." The last bits of light disappeared as the clouds covered the entire night sky yet she looked up anyway. "Thanks for always being here. I love you, Mom."

Back inside the room Rodney was softly snoring on his side of the bed. Jennifer shed the jacket she had thrown over her pajamas and crawled in next to him. Instinctively, his arm wrapped around her to pull her close and hold her within his warm embrace.

She gave him a light kiss and headed to sleep, ending the mother-daughter night until next year.


	3. Wasn't Forever?

Disclaimer: Surprise, surprise... I still don't own SGA.

A/N: Huh. It seems I forgot to publish this long ago. Better late than never, right? Heh... Anyway, this is a continuation of chapter one of sorts. 500 words on the dot.

What if Heaven Wasn't Forever?

The calculations were right, and I knew they were, but when the moment had actually come to set the parameters of the program, my fingers hesitated.

My mind, warring with my heart, told me this is what all the work was for but my fingers still hung in midair above the keys.

This isn't what she wanted.

An escaped sigh admitted my heart had a point. But what's done is done. She herself had told me that and that God of hers knew I took everything she ever said and locked it deep inside after what happened.

My fingers roughly hashed out which keys to press as my tired, deep-set blue eyes traced their progress. I'd come too far to leave things the way they were. I was already far past blasphemy before any of this in the first place.

The sound of my own rapid typing cut off as the screen before me showed the words I longed to see before she left me for a supposed better place. The program was complete.

"I can't stay here anymore, Rodney. Not with everything that's happened," Jennifer told me as I found her packing up her personal items in her office.

Try as I might, I found I couldn't disagree with her. There had been too many deaths, disappearances, and bad news to stand hearing any more.

Later that night, I decided I would accompany her back to Earth on the Daedalus. There was nothing here for me anymore. Nothing I could do.

Perhaps a life back on Earth was possible, even knowing all I do about this wondrous place: my city. What was waiting for me on Earth though? Opportunity. And that was enough.

Or so I thought.

* * *

"We couldn't have done anything differently and you know that, Rodney." Her words were insistent, as always.

"I'm not sure I do know that." The options we had were slim, that much was stuck in my memory and would be for the rest of my life. But her eyes, they were asking me to give up on the past and focus on the future. Is it really that easy? Was it for her?

A small smile loosens her lips as she carefully grasps my hand. It's no doubt a new persuasion to concrete her words. One I think I may allow. For now.

* * *

The button taunted me again, clearing my vision of everything but itself. But it didn't control me, as unfortunate as that was. Maybe I would have pushed it by now if it had.

The weight of my finger pressed against it experimentally and toyed with its ability to slide up and down without setting the program into action. It was a rather intriguing distance. I blinked and pushed it all the way down. To hell with what Jennifer wanted, my life's gone already. None of this will be real.

Relief instantly washed over me. Jennifer will get her chance at a full life. Even if it isn't with me.


End file.
